Don't Treat Others How You Want To Be Treated

Don't treat others how you want to be treated. Wait, that's confusing. Doesn't that go against what you learned in kindergarten? Let me explain.

The golden rule, as it is often referred to, is an excellent ethic when we think about things like respect, dignity, and kindness. If you are choosing between being a jerk or being kind, go with the golden rule and be kind to others.

Bt when it comes to communication this rule doesn't always hold up. We tend to communicate with others as though we are communicating with ourselves, in the way we best receive information. The problem with this approach is that we all have different motivators, life experiences, hopes, and dreams that influence the way we hear others. Therefore what might be very compelling to me, might not be as compelling to you.

I was reminded of this recently while taking some assessment training on the 12 Driving Forces. The theory of the forces is that we each have 4 primary motivators (the why behind what we do), some situational motivators, and some motivators we are indifferent to. If you try to communicate with me using one of the motivators I am indifferent to it won't go anywhere. Increasing our own self-awareness and being reminded that others experience the world differently than we do is the benefit of any assessment process.

In order to communicate and connect with others, we have to connect our ideas to what is engaging for them instead of what might be engaging for us. This is often easier said than done, but it begins with simply considering who the person is. What is encouraging and motivating to them? How do they best process information? What do they have going on in their day and life? Ask yourself these questions in the next conversation you are in.

If we want to be connected and communicate well with those around us we have to treat them how they want to be treated. So pause yourself and engage the person across from you. Then experience the joy of sharing, accomplishing, and creating together.