We Can't Be Self-Aware By OurselvesDec 07, 2020
"Dad, are you ok? You seem stressed." I replied, "I don't think so." As I was scanning the table I could see that others thought the same thing. "You just seem like you are on edge," my daughter said. "Huh, I guess I am. I wonder why?"
There's a lot happening in the world right now! Covid pandemic, political turmoil, Holiday anxiety, and all the other normal life stuff we are carrying. This is a time in which emotional intelligence is so helpful at home and at work. Remember, everyone you see is carrying more than what you see. Their feelings and your feelings are going to comingle in any interaction you have. The most helpful thing you can do is be aware of what you are carrying around.
How can you be more aware? By asking others because we can't be self-aware by ourselves. This is a bit counter-intuitive because self-awareness seems like something you do by yourself. But think about it this way. You can't decide your funny. I guess maybe to yourself but if others don't laugh with you then you aren't funny, regardless of what you think. The feedback of others helps us understand ourselves.
Others also help us understand how we are feeling if we are willing to ask them because it opens us up. This is why even in the midst of a stressful day when someone asks how you are doing you are quick to say, "I'm fine." We are like the humans in the movie Inside Out, we become so fused to our emotions we don't even know they are there. But, when we ask the question to others, "How does it seem like I am feeling?" they give us feedback which opens us up to see ourselves. Just like the other night, I became aware that I was feeling stressed and was then able to do a mental accounting of why.
So, go ask someone who knows you how they perceive you are feeling right now and grow in your self-awareness.
If you want to read more on this topic I highly recommend this blog post by Eric Barker. I am a regular subscriber to his content and it is equal parts amusing and helpful. Check it out if you have the time. You'll be glad you did!
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